BET YOU CAN’T do this writing prompt. Take the 10 random words below and, in the comments, crush writer’s block by creating a cohesive, creative short story tying all of them together! And remember: after (if) you finish, highlight your words and click the bold button to make them stand out and help you determine if you forgot any words. (If you’ve missed previous writing prompts, we BET YOU CAN’T do those, either.)
- Honor
- Unaware
- Pain
- Vicious
- Gray
- World
- Mental
- Problem
- So many
- Keep
NOTE: Don’t copy and paste from MS Word. Use a program like notepad that removes formatting or just type in the comment field itself. Also, finish your submission, THEN bold the words. Thanks.
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{ 110 comments… read them below or add one }
Today is the day we honor those who have died in service to our country.
We are unaware of how many families are in pain and missing the ones they love.
War is vicious and ruthless, brutal and uncaring.
There are no gray areas when I say that we all want world peace.
Even when our loved ones come back alive, the mental problems that haunt a soldier
are so many that it is difficult for them to keep living a normal life when they come home.
We need an end to war…..an eternal plea. We need to ask the government to stop killing our children.
In order and one of my few somber submissions
@Margaret-we are on the same page–nicely done!
@Ma: Great post. Very touching indeed.
Miss Margaret — somber, yes, but a lot of truth to the way you laid the words down. You made me take another minute or 20 to think of the prices paid. Touching… yes.
I too am more than grateful for the sacrifices (known and unknown) our fellow Americans have and do make. Married to an ex-Sgt of the 82nd Airborne and the mother of three… two of whom want to go into the service of our country… like their dad and their great uncle and oh yah, my son’s girlfriend enters boot camp on the 26th of June.
It is best to let the words lead you to what you put on the page. It leads you down good roads.
programming note:
My 103-year-old grandmother had a stroke. I’ll be gone for a good bit of today.
Until then.
Sorry Shane, send out white light!
@Shane-so sorry–safe journey.
@shane sorry to hear that man, good luck.
@Shane Hope your grandmother gets better. Dang she’s seen a lot!
When you get a chance I need to pick your brain. I started the challenges on #33. Got my feet wet and started writing a series by #36 – 41. I would like to take the challenge fromt he beginning, building from what I started in #36. What is the best way to do it? Do I start at number one and lable it Part VII (where I left off on 41) or do I start going backwards at #35 and call that Part VII? I want to continue the series but pickup the challenges I never saw before. Now that I’m on break from school (well starting this Friday) then I can devote my time to writing for the summer.
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
@Sheryl: I think you should do it however you feel you want to and would be easiest for you. There are no rules here for series or regular posts. I would say since the challenges have passed and you are going back, just start from the beginning, as you mentioned, and put what part it is. I would suggest that you keep all your posts in a word file. Then when you are all caught up, you can send me the file and I can post the series. Thanks. If you complete that, THAT will be an amazing challenge conquered.
@Shane.
Thanks, I have already put everything into a word doc so that I can try and make sense of it.
How’s yor grandma doing?
@Sheryl: Still the same. Still in stable, highly guarded situation.
@Justin: Thanks buddy. It’s sucked a ton of energy out of me. I can barely keep up with submissions this time.
My the grace of God’s hand be on your grandmother’s shoulder and His wisdom be on the doctor’s side while he brings peace to you and all of grandma’s loved ones.
The Short One First!
“It is an honor to be here,” she said.
I was unaware of any honor.
“Do you still feel pain?” I asked
“No,” she said almost regretfully.
I flashed a vicious smile that she didn’t see.
“Tonight we hunt when the light turns gray,” I said.
“The world will fear us,” she smiled up at me.
“Your mental strength increases,” I said.
“I won’t be a problem,” she replies.
“So many nights await us,” I said. “I only hope to keep you to myself…”
see them all at http://delphiusbogue.wordpress.com
@Justin-you keep getting better and better-well done! I’m glad I don’t read submissions 1st–talent like yours can be intimidating.
bah you make me blush…I don’t read anything until I get my posts done, I don’ t want to color my own writing. ?thanks for the compliment!
@Cathy: Would Detective Conners be intimidated?!
I sentence you to no more self doubt!
@Justin: I don’t fully understand this post.
And, I don’t want to either!
And that’s the beauty of it. Carry on.
Cathy — don’t let Justin or others intimidate, don’t think that is our goal… I try to allow Justin’s and the other fabulous writers to inspire me to write more and stretch my writing muscles.
Justin — great … keep ‘em wondering and bring them back for more! I will be one of them.
Shane — it sounds like a start of something a new… understanding may well come in additional upcoming submissions…. Do I see a bit of impatience on your part?
@Kathleen (@Justin) Impatience? Not at all! This is my style and way of telling Justin that I love his ambigious posts. There’s a saying I love about writing, “Give the reader the box, but let THEM fill it up.” Justin provides just the right amount of unknown for the reader to fill it with a variety of their own thoughts and possibilities.
@Shane & @Kathleen–thanks for the show of support-no more intimidation–just a bunch of happy reading
Cathy — and I hope a lot more happy writing too!!!
In honor of Memorial Day, let us remember our veterans and our troops. If you are fortunate enough to be unaware of the pain caused from separation due to war, whether temporary or permanent, think now about these heroes. No matter if you believe war is vicious or just, think about their incredible sacrifice.
Today the skies are gray as the world mourns the loss from years gone by and those yet to be. Some are physically lost forever, while others are lost in mental confusion. Our simple problem of yesterday pales in the loss of so many. So, if just one day, this Memorial Day, keep our veterans and troops in your thoughts and prayers. God bless them all.
@Cathy: Another powerful submission. Thank you for writing that.
Excellent thoughts, Cathy, I tip my hat to all of those who have served
“The problem so many young people have,” hiccuped the gray-haired man, “is their lack of honor.”
“Sir?” huffed his grandson, vicious pain seeping up his arm as he supported the man to his truck.
Unaware of the young man’s plight, the old-timer went on. “The world has gone to shit, I tell you, Johnny! Shit!”
Robert didn’t correct the man; he knew the alcohol had all but ruined his grandfather’s mental faculties.
“Keep studying, Johnny. Don’t lose your sense of honor. And respect yer elders!”
“Yes, sir,” Johnny mumbles as the old man passed out in the passenger seat.
Absolutely creative. The picture clearly popped out half way through the read.
Thank you!
@Sara: I like how you broke up the 1st sentence. Nicely done all around.
Thank you, Shane. I’m so sorry about your grandmother.
@Sara–loved it!
Nice ditty Sara. Believble dialog. I will agree with Shane… I love to good dialog made better with well written discription. I look forward to more. ‘Cuz you never said what the boy’s troubles were.
There’s honor in holding on, Grandma.
But, I’m unaware of anybody in our family who would hold it against you if you didn’t.
I pray you are not in pain from the vicious, unbraced fall you took after your stroke.
Bandages covering the hematoma you sustained from the fall now hide from the world your awesome gray hair.
Your mental state is in question with half the family thinking you don’t know what’s going on; the other half certain you can hear them. Problem is, you can’t move your tongue properly and you can only partially open one eye, so we’re not sure what to think.
You’ve had so many great years Grandma. I just hope whatever happens, you are not in pain.
I know from our conversation last week at your 103rd birthday party you were ready to go if it happened. I’ll keep you in my prayers if it does.
I love you.
I will miss you.
It hurts to see someone you love in pain and it sounds like grandma is surrounded by those who love her and whom she has blessed over the years with her love and her spirit. Sometimes there is just a brighter light at the end of such a long journey. I lost both my mom and dad within the last four years, mom was 96 and dad was 99. As sad as I was to lose them, I knew that they were ready and the quality of life that was left was something I did not want for them and they did not want for themselves. I am sure they are 25 yrs old again and frolicking together, eternal sweethearts. May your grandma’s journey be a peaceful one, surrounded by love.
“
Awww. Sweet and sad. 103 is a triumph!
@Becca: Knowing the answer already, I’d always ask my grandmother, “Grandma, you want a soda?” She’s reply, “No, I’ll just have a beer.” She’d always ask me if I needed a napkin. I’d say, “No thanks Grandma, I’ll just use my shirt.” She always got a laugh out of that, and I always got a laugh out of the beer.
Awww. I love memories like that.
Shane:
My ISP has been down for 2 days-finally back up so I can send you a virtual hug. The good memories are what count & will last forever. Thinking of you & your family.
@Cathy: Thank you Cathy. Appreciate that.
@Shane…great words of tribute.
That’s a really moving paragraph, Shane. I’ll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
#Karetha: Thank you.
The Girl Who Stayed the Same (continued)
If it was going to be a date, Kelly had some work to do. She made Jonas wait for her on the landing, more in reprimand for his constant surprise visits than to protect her delicate honor, and headed back to her room to put on some fancy.
She traded pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt for a light blue sun dress that hung well on her frame. She pulled her hair back with a matching butterfly clip, and slipped on her mom’s old aquamarine earrings. Then she headed to the bathroom to apply perfume and makeup, but a glance in the mirror was enough to stop her.
It wouldn’t be fair. She smiled at her own reflection. The poor man waited out in the hall, all unaware how thoroughly she was about to rock his world. It was almost vicious. She laughed at herself, at her own self-confidence, but she didn’t really doubt it.
When she pulled the door open this time, he had no clever remark for her. His eyes widened, and his smile slipped its leash. She gave him a mental count of ten, frozen silhouette in the doorway, and then she flashed him the same smile she’d shared with the mirror a moment before, and slipped casually past him.
“What exactly did you have in mind?” she asked, glancing up over her shoulder as he trailed her down the stairs to the building’s front door. “Arthur’s again?”
He opened his mouth to answer, but it took him a moment to find his voice. Kelly’s heart soared.
At last he said, “It…well, it depends. What’s your schedule like today?”
“I don’t think I had anything big planned,” she said. “Mostly just getting caught up on things I’d put off. I’ve got to get some groceries, and I should probably visit my dad….” She stopped on the sidewalk out front of the building, enjoying the warmth of the summer morning sun, and then turned to face him. “Why?” she said. “What are you thinking?”
“Well….” He trailed off, and Kelly felt a pang of regret when she saw the look of delight in his eyes replaced with one of nervous hesitation — almost pain. He wrung his hands. “I’m worried about what you’ll think,” he said, and that certainly didn’t make her feel any better. “It’s just, I know I’ve come across pretty weird already, and I really don’t want to make that any worse. And, you know, I’d hate to keep you all tied up when you’ve got so many things to do–”
“Spill it!” Kelly said, stern enough to cut through his hesitation but with a smile to soften the blow.
He smiled back. Then he shifted his feet, taking a sure stance, and huffed a quick breath. “Well,” he said after a moment, “I was wondering if you’d be interested in going away to Chicago for the weekend with me. We could get breakfast at the train station, but–” he cut off, and glanced up over her shoulder at the sun. “We’d have to hurry.”
“Wow,” Kelly said, and butterflies danced in her stomach while her mind raced. She smiled weakly, and said, “I’m glad I passed on the eyeliner.”
He cocked his head, confused, and Kelly laughed weakly. She shook her head, took her own calming breath, and then met his eyes. “There really is no gray with you, is there? It’s always all or nothing.”
He spread his hands in front of him, and even fell a half-step back in a gesture of unconscious submission. “Honestly, Kelly, if it’s a problem–”
“No,” she said. She reached out to take his hand and pulled him back closer. She held his eyes, prayed she wasn’t making a terrible mistake, and said softly, “It’s not a problem at all.”
@Aaron-Still loving this story!
@Aaron: Another fine write (and ending, too). Carry on.
@Aaron Just enough to keep us coming back and nibbling at bait…I can’t wait for you to set the hook!
Part 13
Kel alternated between digging in the dirt with a stick and picking at the grass around where she and Jax sat. She was in pain, and the name of that pain was boredom. Not only that, but she was starting to get irritated with Jax after so much time in close proximity. Somehow, he seemed unaware of her frustrations and that only made her more upset.
“Jax,” she said, finally deciding to call attention to the problem at hand, “it’s been three days and we haven’t seen a soul. Three days of sleeping on the ground. Of sitting out here all day long with nothing to do. I don’t think I can take it any longer.”
“I know,” he said calmly. “It hasn’t been that exciting for me, either. I just don’t have a better plan at the moment.”
“I haven’t had a shower in who knows how long,” she continued. “I’m sure I look horrible, and I probably stink, too. It seems silly to be sleeping out here when there are two perfectly comfortable beds right over there,” she added, pointing to the cabin. “And a bathroom! I know the plan was to sit here and watch the house, but please, can we call it quits?”
Jax eyed her silently for a moment. Finally, he sighed, and with a resigned look, he answered. “All right. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate the plan. It’s beginning to seem unlikely that anyone will show.”
Feeling an automatic smile spread across her face and warm her insides, Kel jumped to her feet and stretched. Beside her, Jax stood and they headed back to the small cottage.
After a long shower, the dull gray haze that had fogged Kel’s mental state lifted, leaving her bright and cheery. She put on a simple cotton t-shirt and shorts from the bedroom closet and tossed her worn clothing into a heap on the floor. Then, she headed out to the greenhouse while Jax took his turn in the bathroom.
After watering the plants, Kel selected a variety of vegetables and brought them into the kitchen to make lunch. After so many meals in a row consisting only of fruit and nuts, it was refreshing to have something new for a change.
With hair tousled and still wet from his shower, Jax came into the kitchen and sat down just as Kel was putting the plates on the table.
“Thanks for making lunch,” he said.
“No problem. So what’s the new plan?” she asked between bites of salad.
“I’ve been thinking about that,” he began. “I have a suggestion, but tell me what you think.”
“All right,” she said.
“We could just take off into the woods, keep following the stream until we find civilization. The only problem is, we have no idea how many miles that might take, and on foot we won’t make it very far. There’s the added problem of finding food. Even if we stock up before we leave, we can’t carry more than a few days’ worth.”
“I don’t know if I like that idea,” Kel said with a slight frown. “The risks…and it doesn’t sound all too promising.”
“Right,” he agreed. “So my suggestion is that one of us, preferably you, stays behind, and keeps watch in case anyone returns. I’ll go searching for signs of life, but stay within a few days’ worth of travel. I’ll follow the river downstream as far as I can, and if I don’t find anything, then I’ll go upstream and then out in other directions, if necessary.”
“Why do you think you should go?” she asked.
“Several reasons. The first is because I plan on mapping out the woods as I travel. I don’t think I’ll have a problem finding my way, and if you went, I’d hate for you to end up getting lost. Also, someone needs to stay here and take care of the plants, right? And I’m pretty sure I’d be terrible at that.” Besides,” he added, giving her a slight smile, “I’d hate to leave you alone in the woods with all those vicious creatures roaming about.”
She returned his smile, and decided that he was right. She would rather stay. They hadn’t seen any wildlife beyond bigger than rabbits and the weird buzzing sound hadn’t returned, but the prospect of trekking off into the woods without a shower or bathroom didn’t have much appeal. “All right,” she said. “I’ll stay.”
They decided that Jax would leave at dawn, to make the most of the daylight. They retired to their rooms early, to get a good night’s sleep. Kel had looked forward to sleeping in a real bed, but once she lay down, she couldn’t fall asleep. It felt weird without Jax next to her. She sighed. She had mixed feelings about him leaving. He was the only person in the world she could rely on. What if he didn’t come back?
The next morning Jax packed food and blankets as well as a notepad and pencil they had found into a knapsack for his journey. With his pack on his shoulder, he hovered on the threshold as he and Kel looked at each other. She couldn’t think of what to say.
“Well, I guess I’m off,” he said after a moment, giving a small awkward wave.
“How long will you be gone?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. Hopefully not more than a few days,” he said. “You should stay close to the house while I’m gone. Don’t go farther than the orchard, okay?”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he said simply.
“Okay,” she said, knowing she would honor his request. After all, what else could she do?
“Well, goodbye,” he said.
She hesitated for a moment and then at the last minute before he turned to leave, abruptly leaned forward, throwing her arms around him impulsively. He returned the hug and released her.
“Goodbye, Jax,” she said. Come back soon.
@Becca
There are so many unanswered questions…I love trying to figure out the next step!
@Becca: Now it’s heating up. You’ve now got two story lines running. Double the fun. Nice write. Write on.
@Becca I swear I will stop reading if seven short guys come home to the house…..
I like that this is getting more and more mysterious! Good Work!
@Justin, Doh! I forgot to stage the 7 tiny beds! LOL.
I can’t wait to write tomorrow’s…it’s going to be really good.
@Justin: Thanks. I now know what 7 of the 10 words will be tomorrow!
just kidding.
So ready for you to be in my world. To honor you with looks and kisses as you lie unaware, sleeping, eating, or just staring back at me. I’ve spent so many nights dreaming of you.
Pain? What pain? I say it’s no problem. You’re worth any amount of physical or mental struggle. Waiting is the vicious thing. How many gray days until you arrive? The countdown ends at sixteen…or sooner.
And I will keep you until you’ve grown and flown away.
When I read this, I pictured a mother-to-be anxiously awaiting the arrival of her little one. Very poignant!
Yes. Ours is due in 9 days.
Congratulations
congrats from me as well! ours is due in 34 days
@Justin – Thanks! That’s really close! We’re having our 3rd boy – how about you?
@becca it will be our 4th, one or the other. we don’t find out!
Yikes! You get the trophy for the most! Not sure if I can handle a 4th pregnancy. You’ll have to let us know what it is.
@Becca–Congrats!! Anticipation…
@Becca: Please use the CCC as a message board to your new one. Let this space capture those special moments before you forget them. I wrote down the first year of my son’s life and reread it all the time. I read it and remember a ton of stuff I forgot.
@Shane – That’s awesome. I wish I had journaled so much more for the first two. So much of it has slipped from my mind, I know. Fortunately, I was the avid scrapbooker, so many of the memories are still there, even if they lack so many words.
Becca;
I guess you already know that your love for your children is unconditional. Just wait until you have grandchildren, the joy is overwhelming. Also, I found that the good thing about having boys is that boys want to be boys until they are 65. Girls want to be women when they are 12
@A – What happens when they turn 65???
@Becca-They retire. You don’t, but they do.
Leaving
(Continued from CCC #43)
She stood there, silently watching him for a moment. He seemed unaware of her anxious stare. So many mental images of disrespect and pain flooded through her memory as she paused before confronting him.
“Mark? I have something important to say to you. I want you to keep listening until I am finished talking, okay?” He briefly nodded, but did not stop watching the television. She advanced closer to his chair until her body was between him and the TV. Finally his gaze landed on her face. She was now close enough to see the gray hairs that intermingled with his dark brown hair.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Mark, I’m leaving. This is not an impulsive decision. I’ve given it time and thought about it very carefully. I can’t be married to you any longer. You’ve disrespected me, yelled at me, pushed me around, and destroyed my self-image and self-esteem. And through it all you’ve pointed to ME as the problem. You refuse to take responsibility for any of it. This world you’ve built, this endless vicious cycle of blame and anger–I’m finished! I’m going to go away from this place and see if I can somehow rebuild my honor. I want to feel as though I have dignity once again! You can coax, argue, and yell at me, but it won’t make any difference. I’ve made my decision and I am leaving!”
She stopped talking and ran for the stairs, realizing that her suitcase was still in the bedroom. Behind her, in the living room, she heard the volume on the television increase as Mark returned to the program he had been watching. She retrieved her suitcase from the bedroom and hauled it down the stairs and out to the foyer. She glanced into the living room and noticed that he seemed unfazed by her bombshell. Did he not think she was serious?
She cleared her throat and he grunted in response, “What?”
“I’ll be getting a lawyer later this week. If you need to contact me before then, you’ll have to call my mother. She’ll get the message to me.” He already was focused on the TV again.
“Whatever. You’ll be back in two weeks, I guarantee it.” His smug and arrogant attitude wrapped around his statement.
She didn’t say anything else. She picked up her suitcase, walked out the door and loaded herself into the car. She inserted her key into the ignition, started the car, and drove towards her new life.
@Karetha: Love it. The open road of life awaits her. Good for her.
@Karetha-Great, powerful story of triumph
I’m proud that I was in the United States Army, not once, but twice. First when I volunteered and the second when I was drafted. No, it wasn’t when the Gray fought the Blue, not that far back, more like the beginning of the Vietnam War. For me, there wasn’t an E.T.S date. (Estimate time of separation) The Army said they would keep me as long as they needed me.
We trained and trained and trained until our skills in the art of killing were second to none. We trained until the fiscal pain turned to mental pain. We trained until we all wanted to kill someone just to see how it felt. One G.I. in my company shot and killed himself, another slit his wrist wide open. I remember the blood running from the second floor, down one step to the next, to the next, to the next.
A big contribution to the mental problem was that there were so many false rumors about shipping out. We’d pack up in the middle of the night not knowing where in the world we were going to be sent, only to unpack and do it again some other unsuspecting night. And then, suddenly, they told us we were going to be released from service. Just like that. No explanation
I was offered a possible commission that required a continuation of at least two more years of service. I turned the offer down. I was completely unaware that things in Vietnam were starting to heat up. A couple friends of mine became officers and were sent there. Later, they reluctantly told me what a vicious war it was. For some reason, I wish I had gone.
However, I would never lie by saying that I had served my country in Vietnam as some disgraceful politicians have done. The honor for that goes to those who fought there. An honor that had to be earned.
@A. Hamilton: That’s a great write. You should write more about that. I’m sure there is a ton of material there to go wild with.
@A–outstanding! And thank you!
It’s a vicious world for people who have mental problems. You are unaware the pain that so many people suffer on a daily basis. Should we keep them locked away behind cold gray walls? There is no honor in that.
I was going for short and using as many words as I could in a sentence. But I like the idea of doing a continuing story like: @Karetha, @Becca Campbell and others.
@Clarabela: You can do both!
I’d love to see both methods from you. Give it a go.
Clarabela — nice “attempt” but I agree with Shane, you have accomplished a good write and made it compelling, even if you used three sentences instead of one.
@Clarabella–it’s unanimous-your talent can use short, long, or in-between–Shane posts twice a week, so maybe use one for a series and one something else. Anyway, just keep writing-well done.
The Saga of Bayou Billy…
“Well yer Honor, I was sittin’ on the front porch eatin’ a big ol’ bowl a gumbo when a vampire…
“Yes, yer honor. A vampire. No sir, up until three or two weeks ago I wuz unaware they existed too. But after that zombie outbreak nuttin’ comes as much of a surprise to me. Anyways, she was gonna bite me on the….
“No yer Honor, that’s not the first time I saw’d her. The first time I wuz in the hospital…
“No sir it weren’t no mental hospital. Just the r’gular kinda hospital. What’s that? I’d rather not say why I was there yer Honor. Wuz I on pain medication? I don’t think so. Been in there so many times I kinda lost track. What’s that?
“No sir, I’m pretty sure it weren’t-a mental hospital. So anyways, this woman was standing outside my window and….
“I was three or two floors up. Yes sir, she was outside my window and…
“No sir, I weren’t on no pain medication. Anyways, she come’d in my room and….
“Well I guess they keep the windows open yer Honor! How in the hell is I s’possed to know….
“No problem yer Honor, I didn’t me say hell. Ah hell I just say’d it again. I understand yer just trying to get the facts straight. So anyways, that’s when she told me she wanted to suck my blood and then the vicious little vixen done took’d my gumbo…
“No sir, it weren’t a mental hospital. Anyways, when I got home that there vampiress wuz back and she started lickin the gumbo off me cuz I spilt it and that’s when my wife, my sweet Yvonne come out and….
“How in the world is I s’possed to know why vampires like gumbo? Next time I see one I’ll ask her for ya…
“Hold me in contempt? My wife’s been holdin’ me in friggin’ contempt ever since we got married…
“I ain’t being sarcastic yer Honor, you didn’t want me sayin’ hell so I say’d friggin. I don’t even think friggin’ is a friggin’ word. Fine, I won’t say’d hell or friggin’ no more. Anyways, that’s when I said to myself, ‘Self,’ and I recognized the voice right away cuz it sounded just like me. ‘Self,’ I said….
Pretty sure it weren’t a mental hospital. Anyways, I reckon the window wuz already opened cuz she floated in and….
“What does I mean by floated? Are you friggin’ stupid or sumthin’? I got kids know’d what floated means…
“Yes sir, I gots me six kids. Why shouldn’t I be allow’d to breed? Anyways, I was in the hospit….
“Lord-a mighty are you deaf? It weren’t no mental hospital! You sound like a broken record you *gray hair’d old son of a…
“Contempt my ass! Bite me…
“Sure, sick yer goons with the guns on me and…
“Hey, they ain’t cops. Them there fella’s in the white uniforms look’d like they works at a….
“Are you nuts! They’s vampires out there and yer gonna commit me? Hey, yer honor, where ya gonna put the vampire when you arrest them… in a blood cell? Well I thought it was funny. Hey yer honor, why did they arrest dracula? Cuz he robbed the bloodbank….
“I thought it was funny so bite me….
“Do I have any questions b’fore you commit me? Yes, yer Honor, I has a question….
“Do they serve gumbo in the nut house?”
@Kenn: All smiles. I’m all smiles. Thank you for that.
@ Kenn ”Gumbo in the nut house”!!! That is hilarious!
Kenn — this is great! Makes me laugh, again. I love the one sided conversation. It has a great affect on the read. I can’t wait to see if Billy gets his gumbo. Thanks for writtin’
@Shane @Justin @Kathleen Thanks guys.
@Kenn–my weekend is not complete without a laugh-out-loud tale of Bayou Billy–thanks, Kenn!
Finally! It is here!
Avenged In Blood Part 12!
The night was almost over. The sky was turning gray at the horizon. I blinked and hoped there was a coffee pot at Cabrese’s office. I still needed to keep all of my mental facilities sharp. I had been to Cabrese’s HQ once before looking for one of his henchmen. It was all a ruse of course; we just wanted to make sure that this was the place where Cabrese ran everything.
We were never able to get enough evidence on this place for a warrant. Tonight, I wasn’t worried about a warrant. Add that to my crimes; that is minor at this point. The problem now was how to get in.
If I could believe that liar scum Cabrese there was no one here. Of course, I could not believe him so I had planned for more carnage. So many more people were going to die today. Hopefully I am not among them.
Miles passed under my tires as I crossed back into town and pulled into a space outside of the modern steel and glass office building that Cabrese owned. I steeled myself for war again as I collected my weapons. Six semi-automatic pistols and the machine gun from the goons by the door as well as the SOG knife on my belt that I had deprived of blood all night. I stepped out of the car, ready to deal death in the early morning light.
I walked up the 5 steps that led from the street to the sidewalk level unaware of any other breathing human. I crept to the front door of the building knowing that it would be locked but hopefully not under the watch of a security guard.
I didn’t see a guard as I put a bullet through the cheap lock on the double glass door and kicked them open. I stepped inside looking around for any movement. There was none as I crossed the lobby and headed to the elevators. I pushed the up button and waited for my ride to the 7th floor.
I sensed…something just before a horrible pain flared up my damaged left leg. I had two simultaneous thoughts. First, stay quiet. Second, some worthless son of a mother loving trouser turd let loose a Doberman on me. And he was vicious. I dropped my machine gun and drew my knife.
Moments later, the dog had joined the legion of the dead that I had created. My leg was on fire, the bullet wound had reopened and now there were several teeth holes to join it. I recovered my machine gun and waited. There was no other movement.
The elevator had arrived and closed while I was struggling with the dog. I limped over and pushed the button again. The door opened and I stepped inside wondering what would await me on the 7th floor.
The elevator was fast. It wasn’t long before I had my answer. The doors began to open and I was moving. I ducked low and dodged to the right rolling and barely avoiding the machine gun fire that waited to welcome me. I came upright and fired towards the sound, not being able to see clearly. I heard one grunt and another blast of machine gun fire.
I kept moving to the right, trying to circle the gunmen. I could tell there were at least 2, but nothing more than that. Finally, I did get behind them. I peered over a desk almost directly behind the two. They must have had no experience, they still hadn’t moved. The honorable thing would be to say something witty like in an action movie so they would turn around.
I left that world 12 hours ago in a dusty storeroom. I stood and shot both men with my machine gun. I stood there watching the blue smoke curl from the barrel and listening to the silence in the office. I didn’t think there were any more guards.
From my previous visit I knew Cabrese’s office was in the far left corner of the floor. I headed that way, still alert for any movement. There was none as I reached the large mahogany door that had “Raymond Cabrese” carved into it. The last two rounds from my machine gun splintered the lock and the door swung silently inward.
I drew one of my pistols as I dropped the machine gun to the marble tiled floor. I entered the room to find no one. I also saw the filing cabinet just to the right of the desk. I would search for any other connections to Cabrese’s business and make sure they were all finished.
I spent half an hour digging through paper and looking at his computer. When I was done I felt dirty. There were porn rings and prostitution houses that we had never known about in those files. There were details of blackmail from some state senators as well as the old governor. The mayor had a file but it didn’t look like anyone had acted on it yet. Drugs came and went right under our noses from a dozen legit import services.
Cabrese was into way more stuff than we had ever even guessed. I thought I was going to finish the whole thing tonight. I was only cutting off a few of the hydra’s heads. It would take weeks to finish it all. But it would be weeks without Cabrese.
I got painfully to my feet and picked up the garbage can that I had filled with files. These were evidence. I was taking them. I would kill this monster that Raymond Cabrese had created. As soon as I killed him. I slipped out of the office, down the elevator and out of the building without seeing anyone again. I fell into my car, started it, and pointed it back towards the nursing home that would be the place where Raymond Cabrese took his last breath.
See them all at http://delphiusbogue.wordpress.com
@Justin: Nicely done, Justin. Love how he makes it all like nothing; all in a day’s work. Damn Dobermans!
@Justin–love it, love it, love it. Did I mention that I love it?
Justin – Ditto.
I love the — “The honorable thing would be to say something witty like in an action movie so they would turn around.” Yet he shot them in the back… more like “real life” — made me laugh at the brevity you brought into this. Another intriguing chapter. I like how you have shown the change of your guy and how the change “affects” him.
PROGRAMMING NOTE!:
For those of you who said you were going to try the deconstruction of the movie “An Education”, Larry at storyfix did the first part of the deconstruction. http://storyfix.com/welcome-to-%E2%80%9Can-education%E2%80%9D Check it out and leave a comment and get on his radar.
I’m still begging the rest of you guys to get this movie and participate. It’s not too late. It was great fun for me personally, and I learned a ton from this exercise. I can’t watch movies anymore the way I used to. I see things and know when certain events are about to happen simply by the time in the movie. It’s like having x-ray vision. Quite amazing.
<end raving fan rant>
The lights from the rescue vehicles created a kaleidoscope of brightness and color that cut through the rain and darkness like a beacon. The authorities were unaware that a little girl was hiding under the back step, shivering uncontrollably from cold and fear. The only world she had known in her 5 short years was mostly gray, vicious and full of pain, and it had just come crumbling down around her ears.
Suppertime on May 14th, 1977 had been just like any other. Kelly and her mother were putting supper on the table while awaiting her father’s entrance from work. Mrs. MacPhee had been nipping all afternoon at the sherry bottle kept hidden in the cupboard behind the flour. She was now in her silly phase. Kelly knew that before the meal would be finished, her mother would either be angry and yelling, or sad and crying. The MacPhee family had repeated this stage-show so many times before, Kelly knew all the acts by heart. She wished she could keep her mother like she was now forever.
“Dance with me, baby-girl!” the twenty- four year old woman squealed in delight, turning up the radio. ‘American Pie’ was one of her favourites, and she was singing it off-key in the way only those who are well on their way to being drunk can do. Kicking off her sandals, Kelly’s mother whisked the little girl up in her arms and snuggled her in close. For this moment in time, it was as if neither of them had a problem in the world. Kelly stored this memory in her mental bank as one of the good ones, one of the few that she would have to draw upon when life threatened to overwhelm her.
By 8:30, the casserole was cold and Kelly had begun to squirm in her seat. She was tired and really needed to pee but was afraid to make her mother any angrier. She was hungry too but her dinner sat untouched in front of her. She knew better than to try to eat without both parents present. The purple bruise was fading from her arm but not her memory. If only the rules didn’t keep changing, she might be able to remember better. She could stop being a bad girl and her parents would be happier.
The front door opened with a bang, knocking over the coat tree and breaking it in the process. Mr. McPhee tripped on the over-turned pile, falling in a wet heap in the entryway. “Honey, I’m home” he laughed drunkenly. “You bastard!,” Mrs. MacPhee shrieked and threw a full glass of water at him, barely missing his head. It exploded against the door frame, showering him with more water and glass shards. “You’re drunk!” she continued. She was slurring her words. “Your honor… I demand a fair trial…” he slurred back. “Fair trial my ass, you cheating no-good son of a…” she began to retort but was unable to complete her sentence.
Usually, the next act would consist of a flurry of punches between the married couple, accompanied by a rising crescendo of vulgarities. The finale almost always ended in slamming doors and the police arriving after noise complaints by the neighbours. On May 14th though, it ended very differently.
Mr. MacPhee slowly pulled his 6 foot, 250 pound frame up from the floor and dusted off the glass shards. His wife saw that she had made a grave error in judgement. He most certainly was drunk but there was a dangerous fury in his eyes that she had never seen before. Nor had his daughter. Kelly immediately slipped off her chair and ran for the nearest safe hiding place.
What Mrs. MacPhee never saw until the last moment was the jagged spearlike quality of the broken coat rack, as he violently embedded it in her throat. An uncanny amount of blood sprayed forth and the whites of her eyes rolled upwards as the woman’s body collapsed. The giant of a man dropped to his knees in realization of what he had done, trying to support his wife’s body as she gasped her last breaths through gurgling blood. He wailed and pounded her limp body in an attempt to will her back to life.
The room fell silent. The casserole sat untouched on the kitchen table, a supper setting oblivious to the tormented scene around it. Kelly sobbed silently, trying to make herself invisible. She knew something very bad had happened but was too afraid to come out from her hiding place behind the couch to see. Her bladder released itself and a puddle began to work its way towards the centre of the room.
After what seemed like an eternity, Mr McPhee brushed his wife’s hair back from her face, kissed her forehead and stood up. He disappeared into the dark basement and came back up within minutes. Kelly heard him pull his chair out from the table and let his heavy body fall into it. Eating utensils clanked against the casserole dish and something rolled across the table onto the floor. She heard the distinct metallic snap as he slammed the barrels closed after inserting the shells. In the short amount of time it takes for an angel to flap its wings, an explosion rocked the house and the curtains closed on the final act. Kelly was alone.
She peered out and the odour of gunpowder and blood made her senses reel. She couldn’t comprehend the scene that lay before her. Mr. MacPhee lay slumped over the table, what remained of his head in the casserole dish. Mrs. MacPhee lay at an odd angle between the kitchen and the entry in a pool of blood, the jagged top portion of the coat tree in her neck. The rain was blowing in through the open front door. Kelly staggered outside, hoping the rain and darkness would wash away the scene from her mind. She fell to her knees and crawled into her safe place under the step, unsure what to do next.
The little girl began to sing softly, “Bye, bye, Miss American Pie…”
@lisa Good Gad! That was an amazingly vivid, emotional and twisted piece. Fantastic read!
LOL Thanks Justin. Twisted is what I is
@Lisa–Great creativity from the opening line on!
Standing Up – Continued
Isabelle knew there was no way to honor her promise made in front of God and so many friends and family members. To keep it would be a problem. To keep it would mean subjecting herself, her children to mental problems and pain inflicted by a vicious man. Man … too kind of a word. A real man does not behave like a horse’s backsid. The world would be a better place reduced by one. The gray cloud will be removed from her life.
@Kathleen-a lot of power packed in few words-well done
Thanks miss Cathy! Glad it was effectively received.
So many see the world as vicious and gray; it really is a mental problem. They carry pain from their childhood, unaware how it affects planet Earth and her inhabitants. Keep going like this and soon there will be nothing left. Where’s your honor?
@Rebecca: Cool! I liked this very much. Short form, too!
@Rebecca–Amen!
Rebecca — Nicely put. (oh yah, well, written too.)
SCHIZOPHRENIA
The honor she’d once felt in keeping so many mental problems at bay with medication abandoned her when the voices broke through, and now, as she stood at the edge of the bell tower unaware of the pain she might cause to her family, the vicious gray world engulfed her for the last time.
@Kelly: Wish you would step back from the ledge, my friend… Nice.
Ho ho ho! No ledges for me. Life issues, yes. Mental, no way.
But she went off the edge, this chick. I like an occasional bummer ending.
@Kelly: Me, too, on occasion. Sometimes the character have to crash and burn.
Oh, I’m so glad to hear you two say that….
Sappy? Silly? Horrific?
Gotta keep folks guessing.
His Honor was unaware of the pain his vicious attacks caused to the gray world. The mental problems so many keep deep inside.
@Cleve: Slaying the short form once again, Cleve! Write on!
“On my honor, good sir, there was no intention to cause you pain. We are not vicious, we are gray. Your mental world keeps so many problems already, we endeavor not to add to them unaware. Please take this placebo as a token of our apology.”
I hate robot doctors.
@Steven: Well done. A funny peek into the future.